Thursday, March 14, 2013

"..The internet holds many strange and wonderful things...and theres porn!" ~Stevil Kinevil

Hello again, babies. Its been so very long since Ive sat down to bask in the glow that radiates from Big Mama's Bakery page. But here I is.
 somehow feeling like that prodigal son, but with a way better rack, having gone out into the world for not much more than a minute and returning home with another dose of those bothersome life lessons. Ya know, lets just get this straight, lessons can suck it .At my age, one would think that not only are they unnessasary, they are pretty much the equivalent of that old saying that went something like "don't try and teach a pig to sing, it won't work and you just piss off the pig."
Well, life, this piggy would really appreciate you keeping those music classes to yourself. Im fucking tone deaf.
That said, the past many months have brought me many new ones. About myself. About others. About the perception of truth, lies, and where we dwell somewhere in the muck between. About just when we think we have it all figured out, it unravels in our hands.
To discover that someone we thought was so important, was truly a creation for public consumption. To realize that the joke I thought I was in on, was on me.
Tough stuff. Shakes you to the very core. But I guess thats what the end result of that kind of thing is, whats meant to happen. Tear it all down and search for the cornerstone of who you are. Then collecting the remains and turning around to go back home.
That is, if one is fortunate to find that cornerstone in the wreakage.
Now I know that there are those who are not blessed with it.For them, every step is calculated,every word, every movement is meant to step in, step up.That their lives are weak reflections of what they see as love, success, friendship, power. They watch, study, absorb. Practice in the mirror until its time to take their act on the road. Literally.
That kind of machine never stops.Never can be filled because the emptiness is too deep. And no matter  how well orchestrated the shtick, when it comes crashing down that machine will use whats holding on as a flotation device.
Glad I could swim.
And you know, at the end of the day, no matter how painful my lesson was, the fact that I could rummage through the rubble of that castle built on sand,and find my cornerstone, makes me the lucky one.
Til next time.

1 comment:

Britt said...

Do you live in a sand castle?