Greetings again, babies. Glad to be back. Today, while going about my attempt at " livin' like I was dying", i met a woman who i had a conversation with. We both commented that we are appriciating our lives more now in the end of our first half-century. I havent figured out if its natures way of saying, "Give up rat, your ass is trapped" and accepting it, or (my choice)if we really ARE getting better.
Now, for you who may not like reading about excessive menstuation, hair in places that no human being should have, and/or granny sex, you have permission to leave the classroom.
Seriously, because i'm a glass not only a half empty, but also backwashed in kinda gal,
Im gonna give you the downsides first:
Shark week sucks when your old. you think it was bad at 12? You will be begging for the days when you were nomal and just writhing in pain. Add double-bagging and not being able to leave your house for more than one half hour at a time. Or risk penelty of having to have your drivers' seat cleaned by the car detailers. Again.
Vericose veins. I found the answer for that. Tattoo it, bitches.
Wrinkles
Sagging neck skin
Stretchmarks. What the hell, tattoo those too.
Acne. Yea that shit showed up at 30 for me. Right when i hated myself the most.
Fat. Its not just a douchey relative that stays till you starve them out anymore. It likes it here and it takes some really crazy shit to get it to leave.
Add to that all the other stuff like losing your fucking mind, and Viola!!! Yep. Welcome to my world. I just did not appriciate the fact that bouncing a quarter off my ass was awesome to say the least.Frig, if i would have known I would have charged for it. But thats me, a day later and a dollar short.
Now, lets examine just a snippett of the reasons we "women of a certain age" rock.
When i was young, I didnt know what I wanted to be. Now, well, I still may not know what I want to be, but i sure as Hell know what I DONT want to be.
We can look for the first time into the future without being afraid. We know that if the next 10 years are as bitchin as the last, we are lucky gals. Who does that at 25?? At 25 you dont give two shits.( Maybe because bouncing that quater has you a bit sidetracked) But, well , you know what i mean.
We have our God. and I say that in any way you wanna take it. For me, I know that I have a place, and many purposes in many lives. I have higher love. (I dig that song) We are strands in the weave, strong and important. I see it and I feel it. And I earned that right. I aint saying that i dont know alot of together kids. Im just saying, i really wanna know them when they hit 50. And for the other young 'uns, you are a constant source of amusement to us. Whats easier than white kid problems???? Fuckin'A. right.
Sex. I may not LOVE my body,yet, but I sure as Hell am having a ball in it.
Our convictions are pretty concrete. What i thought meant something at 25 makes me weep with embarrassment now. Im hopeing I give everything I see and experiance equal respect, not passing judgements on someone or something before I have enough information to do so. I thought i was so open minded. Frig.
But here i am. Now I wont just look at you and call you a hemeroid. Ill wait for you to open your noise hole then ill call you one. Evolved, I tells ya.
We really know that"it"wont kill us. That old saying,"What dont kill ya makes ya stronger" Yea. One of a handful of truths. Bukowski said something to the effect of he had so many times thought he wouldnt make it through, and at some point laughed because he had said it so many times before. Wish I could find that passage.Uh, actually, we may wanna skip trying to quote him. Bad example, but, you know what I mean. It makes us who we are, and thats my point. At this moment Im seeing the sum of my days so far. Looking back on what was, seeing what is, and still strong enough to shape what will be. Living in the moment is still beyond my grasp, but I think I can swing living in the year. I can see things moving into place, see myself shedding what I carried with me, but taking a souvineer of it all. Placing it into the puzzle that will ultimatly be held for everyone to see. When that day comes, I hope that I will be what I cherish most. A good friend. A loved and loving member of the web. And if Im really lucky,maybe someone will say "...God, she friggin' made me laugh"
